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Monday, May 27, 2013

Social Media and the Ever Elusive Monogamous Relationship

Hello and happy Memorial Day! I hope everyone is enjoying today as much as I am.

So, let's talk about this.

I bring it up because I know it has affected in some way everyone who is reading this blog...or you would not be reading it.

This is such an enormous topic I could probably write a book on it (maybe I will!), I will try to be concise and to the point with my observations.

Hmm, where to start? Let's start here:

The ADD Epidemic/Social Media/"The Grass is Always Greener" Phenomenon

Okay how many of you have been frustrated to hear your partner say, "Guess who facebooked me the other day?"  What about, "It's the weirdest thing but you know my match account that I told you I deactivated, well I am still getting emails!"

Here's the catch with these situations.  They may start out as innocent.  It may start out as innocent curiosity..."are the girls cute that emailed me?" My partner and I are having issues at the moment, maybe it wouldn't hurt just to talk to someone else and see what happens? I haven't heard from this person in forever, are they single?"  This goes for girls and guys by the way.

Yes, this may seem innocent.  No different than, say, catching up with an ex if you saw them out a bar or something.  However the impersonal nature of online gives us all a lot more confidence and anonymity than we would normally have in person.  This is where the problems begin.

We currently live in a society that has cultivated the ADD epidemic.  We have online chat and dating, online shopping, facebook, twitter, whatever.  It gives us an immediate outlet to expressing our feelings, insights, and getting our needs met immediately.  Why would someone in a committed relationship choose to stick it out during a rough patch when they can go online and instantly meet someone "better".  I use "better" in quotations because most of us know your perception of who your online interest is is not reality.  Who you want them to be and who they actually are never line up.  Most of us are left months, or years later after many of these online disappointments, wishing we had stuck it out with that one person who actually "got" us.

I have learned so much about this behavior through my own experiences and through talking to friends and hearing story after story of this same phenomenon.  Two people who could have been really happy except the urge to resist the promise of a "good time" and something new was too much and resulted in the destruction of the otherwise healthy and happy relationship.  I think this is all about perspective.

My girls and I feel that when we are with the man we love, no matter how hard it gets sometimes, we are never tempted to create a match account or flirt/kiss someone else.  Or cheat or any of that.  We ride it out, vent to our girls and go on with life.  We know that eventually the problem will resolve and all will be fine.  Why can't men do that? Why the second it is not butterflies and rainbows do they go looking for someone else? What are girls these days to do? What does that mean for the future of relationships? It is a fact that there are far less marriages now and people are waiting a lot longer to get married.  It has become the last step to adulthood when it used to be the first.  I wonder if this shows a progression of our society or a regression.

Now to my next point.

One side note to my lovely ladies out there:
There is a book called "Frumps to Pumps" by Sarah Mae.

She connects scripture to being an amazing, confidant and put together woman.  It rocks.  The entry I read today stuck with me:

"She served her family and those in her care, she reached out her hands to the needy, she was alert all night in case her family needed her, she worked hard and was wise and kind, she feared the Lord." 1Peter 3:3-4  She was beautiful.  Inside and out.

I try to have fun always but also remember who I am, where I am going and who I want to be.

Always classy with kisses, keep the love alive.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

"Million Dollar Loner"- Money Success Does Not Equal Life Success

I told I you I would go in another direction...ready?

"Million Dollar Listing"

I hate to admit this, however I am a huge fan of reality shows.  Mostly because I have a very stressful job and it helps me to zone out and forget real life for a moment.  Also, I find them hilarious.

This particular one really touched a heart string form me.  This show is about Realtors in New York and this particular episode happened during Hurricane Sandy.

One realtor Ryan lives alone.  When Sandy hits he tries to wait it out.  He has no food (are any of us prepared for that?) Shit I should be I live in Houston! He has no electricity and is forced to leave.  There is a scene where he is making calls to anyone and everyone he knows to get help.  Turns out, he realizes he has no significant relationships.  He is a typical workoholic.  He says something touching at the end of the episode when he returns to New York after staying with his parents, "I realized I have no significant relationships.  And it's my fault because I work all the time." Then in the next episode he is right back to where he was completely forgetting all that.  How many of us are like that? Really, life is unpredictable.  I realized a year ago when I got in an almost fatal car accident in downtown Houston.  By the absolute grace of God I survived but since that day I have never taken one day of my life for granted because I feel like every day and moment and breath is a blessing.  When I call my friends or my family, they pick up or call me back ASAP.  That's because since that accident I have put all I have in my personal relationships because I realized that day this life is empty without them.

Going away note: the people in your life make your life worth living for.  Don't neglect them, choose them wisely and nurture them the best you know how.  Because when shit hits the fan (weather, injury, illness-cancer, or unemployment) you will be GLAD you did.  They will be your rescuers and will keep your life happy and meaningful.  Just say'in!

Keep the love alive,